rules are/not made to be broken

It is no longer cool for clergy to live separate from the world. After several decades of ministers hanging out with folks and trying to make church a friendlier place, church leadership have been absorbed into the world. They have tried to weaken the historical ropes separating laity and clergy. Youth leaders do all they can to get onto students' levels, pastors unbutton their collar, and people try to jazz up the worship space. Though attempting to be helpful, they/we have compromised much; often settling for less-than in hopes that people would grow into the more uncomfortable pieces of Christian life. Initially we might have been accused of false advertising, but now our habits have begun to solidify, leaving us with little ground on which to stand.

It is now strange and unusual for clergy (in my tradition) to be hard-nosed about Christian behavior. Recently, I entered the treacherous territory of confirmation expectations. There is no attendance policy (with reward or punishment) for any class or group in the congregation EXCEPT for the confirmation class. Its specific goals and experiences led the teachers to require attendance at all events. (Students are allowed to miss 2 without penalty.) In a culture with traveling sports teams, Sunday games, and other familial busy-ness, we suddenly find ourselves as the bad guys. From the parents' perspective: it is unrealistic for students to come every time, church is not about learning; church is about loving, parents can teach students what they miss in class. And said snidely, of course the pastors would not understand that there is anything worthwhile outside of church.

Isn't it my job to encourage members in their discipleship? Isn't it my job to hold God/The Church above other things? Isn't it my job to remind people of the sacrifices (albeit minor) that we can/are called to offer God?

I feel caught between this need to be "cool" and understanding, as opposed to encouraging dedication to something bigger. Personally, I wish everyone had more of a desire to separate from the secular. I wish that everyone wanted to spend several weeks in a monastic setting, practicing faith with discipline. Though since I realize that this is an unrealistic hope for the majority of the world, isn't it important for me to maintain it for clergy and other intentional religious folk? There is a though that people pay their ministers/priests/clergy to be the people they want to be. So, as I push a family to put God first, to work for something bigger, to be intentional about being "different" from the rest of the team, I am trying to invite them into this Other space.

Help! What do you think?